Bittnia and the Gay Discourse Machine
Photo by Dylan Vanessa.
Meet Bittnia
Every week, it’s something new. He/him lesbians. Break-up drama. Bi erasure. Mask mandates and masc shortages galore. If you’re a lesbian on the internet, you know the drama, the archetypes, the heroes, and the villains, but there’s a growing population of queer people who yearn for a more nuanced perspective.
That’s where Bittnia comes in. With well over 100,000 subscribers on YouTube, New York partygirl Nia Stanford researches, dissects, and lays to rest the best and worst of the discourse. I’ve been a fan of her channel since its inception, and I spoke with Nia about nightlife, New York, “content,” and gay drama.
Let’s get into it.
⭐️ In New York, is the party scene getting really competitive?
BITTNIA: Really competitive, and it's very political actually, I would say.
MM: Do you have one faction of the party scene that you – on the political alignment chart – feel like you're aligned with?
BITTNIA: I would say I try to stay pretty dead center because I'm a journalist.
MM: She's moderate.
NS: Haha. I'm moderate. I'm a lesbian libertarian. I'm definitely acquainted with everyone who's running something that's transcended New York, gone from a niche community to a full-on production.
MM: Speaking of events that started off niche but then got kind of mainstream, I liked your series on T-Boy Wrestling. It was a huge controversy here because it was based in LA, so it was wild to have so much outside coverage. I wanted to ask…
⭐️ Do you ever get nervous? As a journalist myself, I do. Your videos explore so many different topics like gender, race, sexuality, and just very sensitive subjects. So how do you fortify yourself to talk about that stuff and protect yourself online?
BITTNIA: It's just funny you'd ask me this because last night I had a full-on panic attack. I would say my last three video essays have been increasingly risky in terms of controversial topics, interviewing polarizing figures, and this one was the first one where I was like… I actually don't know if I can post this. I asked my girlfriend, “How do I approach this?” and she told me “If you're gonna put it out, you have to be able to stand behind it 100%.” And I believed that posting it was for the greater good and net positive for the community.
Photo by Dylan Vanessa.
BITTNIA (cont’d): I also just have the type of brain where I can see all the criticisms that I'm going to get, and I've most likely already had the discourses in my own mind. I can empathize and understand where all the criticisms come from. I see everyone as three-dimensional people whose experiences I will never understand to the extent I understand my own. But I think it's just about really rooting my perspectives in what I believe is good and what I believe is the truth. So even if I get criticism or feedback and I end up changing my mind, I can say, “Well, I know why I said that.” Also, I think a major part of it is my community here. I really trust my friends. I'm lucky enough to be connected with a lot of brilliant thinkers, queer thinkers. So I'm like, if my people are messing with it and I think it's praxis-oriented, then hit me, you know?
MM: Okay, so your answer is that you're just super evolved and you've reached a higher plane of consciousness that's unattainable. Noted.
⭐️ So as a journalist, you talk so much about nightlife and culture, but then you also have to go to the events and try to have a fun time. Do you ever struggle with that? How do you balance your objective journalist brain with your subjective partygoer persona?
BITTNIA: People who don’t live in New York typically see me as a journalist talking about queer issues, like an academic, but in New York, people see me as a socialite. People see me as an influencer. They think of me as a bitch with followers, essentially. If I am going to write a piece about a party, I probably already know the organizers. I probably wouldn't do it at the party… So when I'm out, I mostly just feel a little self-conscious, if anything.
MM: I like that you kind of take that removed, academic stance. I don't know if it's like this in New York, but there's a real epidemic in the lesbian party scene of people with tiny microphones being like, “Which do you prefer, a tall femme or a short masc? What's your type?” I won't name them, but certain parties feel like they only exist to create content.
BITTNIA: Name them!
MM: Out & Abt. Sometimes Futch can feel like that, too.
BITTNIA: I've never been to Futch LA, but in New York, Futch is a deeply polarizing party.
MM: I've heard that.
BITTNIA: Yeah.
MM: Is it because of the segregation? There's no other way to say it. It happens here, too.
BITTNIA: Yeah, and I actually have a host friend who founded a party, and – it's not branded this way – but they told me like, “This is supposed to be an integration party.”
MM: Hahahah.
BITTNIA: Like a BIPOC party, and white people can come. And I think it's praxis, because it's deeply segregated over here. And I have honestly seen interracial friendships fall apart out of resentment like, “I'm not going to go to Futch with you! Why would I go to Futch with you?” And then they can't go to G.G.G…
⭐️ There’s so much going on in New York right now, so what keeps you going out and inspired when nightlife and activism have become your work?
BITTNIA: Having gone to college here, having built out my identity here, coming out as a lesbian here… All of my most notable relationships have happened here; everything has happened here. I know what it's like to work a corporate 9 to 5. I know what a different version of New York can look like, or a different version of my life can look like, and I don't want it. I feel incredibly grateful to be in the position to do what I'm doing, so I think it's really the fear of doing something else. Because this is what I've always wanted to do, and if it's not me, it's going to be somebody else, so it may as well be me.
⭐️ I really like [your show] Glass Closet… Did you see it becoming what it is now?
BITTNIA: I think yes and no. No, in the sense that it was so random. I had just gone through a really bad breakup, and this was my first thing that I was trying to do to prove I could be alone. You could very much be making like a decent amount of money on TikTok, and no one really knows who you are, you know? And so it was ambitious and intimidating to feel like, you know, this is a huge leap.
Photo by Dylan Vanessa.
BITTNIA (cont’d): But yes, I knew it was going to work because I had been on TikTok for five years at that point, and I'd been consistently, up to that point, garnering results. And I knew... I'm gay! I know what gay people are talking about. I know what people are fighting about in TikTok comments and in Twitter threads every week. I studied the space, and I knew what was missing. I knew what was missing was essentially an accessible, digestible, central space to find these discussions. Because you'll see a TikTok talking about, “Oh my gosh, did you hear what so-and-so is doing?” And then everyone's like, “Oh my God, link me the original video.” There are people who want something that's synthesized, like, I can just explain this to you, but no one was doing that. So I had a feeling. Even if I didn't expect to get 100K in a year (that was a gag), I did have a feeling that I can make something shake because I had done it successfully, in a shorter form, for so long.
MM: It's interesting to be a neutral space for all this really intense discourse. I feel like YouTube is better at manufacturing actual conversations than TikTok, which is so individual.
BITTNIA: Deeply.
MM: Did you have any inspirations when starting your channel?
BITTNIA: ContraPoints.
MM: I'm a fan too.
BITTNIA: Obviously she's a contentious figure right now, but I just think we cannot discredit the work that she's done in the space, and I feel like she's the Beyoncé of queer leftist YouTube. You know what I mean? Maybe I'm giving her too many flowers because I have mentioned her in my work, and I get pushback because of the controversy she's in now. But I really think she's foundational, and I think people discredit her for what she's contributed. I think so many video essayists are biting ContraPoints.
MM: I agree.
⭐️ Do you have any bigger plans that you want to manifest in print for your channel, for Glass Closet, for anything?
BITTNIA: Actually, yeah.I've been talking with my friends, my collaborators, writers, essayists, photographers, artists I work with, and I wanna make a queer content house.
MM: Oh my God.
BITTNIA: But it's not like Hype House! It’s like a collective. We all work and collaborate, and it's praxis-oriented and rooted in activism and liberatory practices. And also we throw parties there and have fun. And also, I started writing a pilot. I want to make a sitcom.
MM: I love whenever you talk about The L Word. I love that it's still a foundational text.
⭐️ Which [L Word] character do you think you would be? Sometimes I ask people their big three, but with The L Word characters.
BITTNIA: I think I'm an Alice Sun with a Bette Moon and a Bette Rising.
MM: That's a good combo. I think I'm a Jodi Sun, Alice Moon, Marina Rising.
BITTNIA: I think Marinas are undervalued and underrated.
MM: I think so too. We can wrap up soon so you can get on with your busy day, but I like to ask…
⭐️ What, to you, makes a perfect party?
BITTNIA: Oh my gosh, what a great question. I think everyone needs to feel open. I think what makes the perfect party is curating your clientele, your vibe, your DJ, your everything, so that people can get there and not have to perform. I think what makes a bad party is everyone's there trying to perform. Everyone's there trying to prove. And I'll say the best party I've been to this year was Raw Honey. That was like I was related to everyone in that room. Everyone in that room was my family by the end of the night. Everyone's shaking ass on tables. It was like we were enmeshed. It was an ecosystem for those five hours. And it was a darty, too. I was in bed by 11. I think that's what everyone should seek to embody. It's just a space where we can really let it go.
Photo by Dylan Vanessa.
JOIN THE PARTY
As Nia’s star keeps rising, I hope she can inspire Gen Z queer folks to build rich, exciting lives outside of in-group internet conflict. I admire her dedication to her community, to uplifting queer people of color, and to doing it all while entertaining the masses! I can’t wait to see what comes next. We’ll be watching!